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True North for Thursday!

🧭

 

It's just over 5 weeks since my last post on this channel.

 

It's been such a rollercoaster ride of emotional ups and downs, trying to celebrate

Christmas and the New Year without my soulmate, BumbleB 🐝 (Ped).  

I journal every day (sometimes a few times a day) because it helps me put my thoughts on paper,

clear my head, and share stuff with him.

I don't know why, but for some reason, New Year's Day was a very low-vibe day for me.

Ped and I never really celebrated New Year's, but I guess it was the realisation that he is

physically no longer here with me.

 

BumbleB 🐝 was my external compass. I feel completely lost without him.

I could discuss anything and everything with him. And I did. 

He accepted me totally - the good, the bad and the ugly (so to speak 😊).

My internal compass feels like it is in neutral; it wants to take off, but can't seem to.

It has lost its mojo and its other compass to help navigate my continued journey in life, without him.  

A weird way to put it, but that's how it feels to me.

 

 

I miss seeing him.

I miss being with him.

I miss talking with him.

I miss hearing his voice.

I miss holding his hand.

I miss giving him a big bear hug.

I miss hearing his ringtone on my mobile.

I miss his eyebrows being raised.

I miss him saying "Yeah".

I miss him calling me "Sweet".

I miss his sayings:

"It is what it is."

"Everything will be okay."

I miss my soulmate, my best friend, my rock, my compass, my BumbleB 🐝

every second of every minute of every hour of every day!

💜

The grief comes in waves, that's for sure. 

But...

I continue on with my daily be-walk-tation, sometimes with a friend, often on my own.

I listen to music that aligns with how I'm feeling in the moment.

I watch birds.

I pat my Sofè Sweetè. 🐈

I read and journal.

I write lists - like this one :-)

I doodle and draw.

I practise the harmonica.

I reach out to family and friends for a chat and a cuppa.

I imagine my fav things.

I observe and smell flowers.

I just keep on moving. Whether it's exercising, dancing, or practising yoga, they all help me feel better.

I meditate.

I be still and silent.

I talk with him and look at photographs of him.

Doing all these things is comforting and eases the rough moments,

but the yearning or ache is always there.

💔❤️‍🩹

Anyway, if you are grieving at the moment, my heart goes out to you.

I hope this blog of my grieving journey offers you some comfort

and ideas to ease your grief.

And remember to take special care of you and to look up at the sky today!

 

❤️ Enjoy Every Moment!! ❤️

#TrueNorth #Yearning #Grief #Self-care

🧭🎶🌊⋆˚🌀｡𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪🐝⛱🦅🪷